Day 3 - anger

 I have been immersed in news. I can not quit reading it .  My thumb muscles have started to ache from scrolling page over page trying to figure out how tcan I fix my life to help us as a nation get better. 

How do I write a book about going to Mars when the population has gotten afraid to go to the grocery store. ?How did we become so fearful as a world that we can’t walk around smiling at friends and hugging families. It’s very discouraging trying to imagine how to create a book that celebrates humans abilities to have courage when your watching masked fear. 

I get consumed by politics and news and it’s unhealthy. I let it drag me down until not only my thumbs hurt but my souls drifts off wondering why we are even here and what the point of living is . Life has gotten so easy that we don’t remember what it’s like to bury our children or really even struggle here in the US. 

How do you remind people of this  , how do I remind myself of this ? How do you help them hug their family and listen to their gut ? How do share a story that says it is going to be very hard but you will preserve yourself by the sheer act of making it happen even if it hurts . 

 It’s days like today I wish I was on 100 acres with a cabin overlooking my horse grazing and didn’t know what the world was .. but then am I living my calling by tuning out the voice that shouts be a voice that tells others they should live their life , they should do things that make them afraid and do things that could potentially kill you.... 

I am unsure as I fight this constriction of  thoughts on what would make me happiest . I do believe that when you sit around wondering if your happy, those are your saddest moments.  


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