Simply God

 I have always been a religious person ... but it has always been between me and God.  I see him in the fields as the grass blows in the warm summer wind. I see him in the swirls of Henry’s mane. 

What I am not is a corporate church goer. In my relationship with God he doesn’t give me definitive answers, he never hands me answers to my prayers in a the form I have asked him for it ... God always gives me a slow your role girl , you are flat out wrong. Adjust your eyes 👀 response. 

Last night I was sitting in our leather sofa , with a slight dampness in my hair from the latest hot flash whining to my husband , who bless his heart really tries to Listen about how I failed my kids because they are not accomplishing life in spectacular fashion. How my aunts children... ( may aunt is like may sister just a few years older ) are business owners and degreed doing extremely well.  My husband says , “ you have good kids and that’s enough .  They are good people Michelle” 

Blowing past him in my mazzerati of misery I kept on .. whining and complaining and feeling bad for my failures all the while he was reminding me that life is about doing for others . 

Then today in a moment of sheer understanding my aunt calls and says she is visiting her son because he called for an intervention. He is overdosing on adderal and can’t sleep or get anything done.  

I listen to my aunt who pushes through to help him catch up and cut back and get himself together all the while knowing that this was God telling me to slow my roll and be glad for the good people my kids are and my husband that tries. 

I am as thankful for the slap in the face realization that God gives me as I would be for a miracle change in my life because I know that god helps those who help theirselves. 

We have the choice everyday and it should always be to improve. 

Comments

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